You’re jewish and you just got engaged, so you need to think about getting a ketubah for your wedding. You’ve found one online. Check. It now needs to be personalized, and that’s where it can get unclear! Of course, there’s the basic information that, if you don’t know it already, you’ve got bigger problems–such as the bride and groom’s names, the date of your wedding, and where it is taking place. But it can get mighty confusing as you go further to hebrew names, etc.
Here are the top 5 tricks for personalizing your ketubah to make it easy and right.
1) Ask your officiant to personalize the ketubah! OK, not “actually” personalize the ketubah itself (have you SEEN his or her handwriting?) but complete the information for the ketubah artist or calligrapher. Seriously, the fastest way to have your ketubah personalized correctly is to let your officiant complete the form provided by your ketubah artist or vendor.
2) Don’t create Hebrew names. If any party is not jewish, you don’t want to start making up a hebrew name for that person. Rather, have your name transliterated–phonetically spelled out in hebrew letters. And if you’re jewish and you have a yiddush name, ask your officiant if you can use that or if he or she will require you to use an equivalent Hebrew name instead (e.g. Sarah instead of Sorah).
3) Stop with your parents’ level. In Hebrew, your name is typically something like: “Rachel, daughter of Joshua and Sarah.” Of course, your father, Joshua, is technically “Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka,” and your mother “Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia.” But just stick to your parents. Saying “Rachel, daughter of Joshua, son of Samuel and Rivka, and Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Talia” is just too complicated. So end it with your parents’ level. You may also choose to omit your parents’ names if you prefer. And typically just first (and middle, if you like) names are used – no last names.
4) Before or after sunset. Unlike our days, Hebrew days begin and end at sundown. So when figuring out the hebrew date for your ketubah, it will be determined by whether the wedding is before or after sunset.
5) Details, details for a Conservative or Orthodox ceremony? There are more details to provide, including the bride’s “status” (whether this is the bride’s first marriage–or more technically, whether she is a virgin–or if she’s been married before and divorced or widowed, and if she’s converted), if the father of the bride and/or groom is a levite or cohain (it probably means “no” if you don’t not know), and whether your rabbi or cantor wants the ‘regal’ – the descending part of the letter in the ‘koof’ – in the word ‘v’kaninah’ to be filled in or left out. Let’s make it easy – talk to your officiant about these items for personalizing your orthodox ketubah text.
It’s always a good idea to consult your rabbi or cantor, but with these suggestions, your ketubah should be personalized correctly.
